Can I send you fan mail?
Certainly! You can mail me just about anything at the following address. (No body parts please. Those go to a different address entirely.) While you’re at it, order something from Main Street Books. Because they’re awesome.
c/o Main Street Books
307 S. Main Street
St. Charles, MO 63301
What’s a “Minion”? Can I become one?
You’re already a Minion! In fact, a Minion is anyone who is or might be even mildly interested in my books. Collectively, you’re the Minion Horde. Our goal is simple: to be positive ripples in the pond of life. Oh, and also, world domination. Plus, we eat cookies sometimes and sing lullabies in creepy whispers underneath your bed. We promise not to kidnap you. Much.
What more could you want? (Shhh…that was a rhetorical question. Nobody cares.)
Where/when can I meet you?
Any public appearances I schedule are posted on my Appearances page. Check it often. And then recheck it. Then check it again. (You get the point.)
Can you help me with my author biography homework that my teacher assigned to me because they don’t seem to understand that authors feel terrible when you can’t respond to those kinds of requests?
Sure thing! I receive many emails inquiring about this, so let’s see if I can give you the basics. I was born on September 21, 1973 in Lapeer, Michigan. I grew up in a small town called Columbiaville, Michigan, but have lived in several places in that state, as well as in Colorado, Mississippi, Nebraska, and Utah. I currently reside in Missouri with my husband, two children, and four furry overlords (which some people refer to as “cats”). I’ve published books under both Heather Brewer and Zac Brewer. I’m often asked for further details about certain aspects of my personal life, but for safety reasons (and because I just plain don’t want to share), I usually don’t respond to those questions. I also no longer to respond to emails asking for what information my FAQ provides. Because dude.
Are you going to write more Vlad books?/What are you writing now?
The Chronicles of Vladimir Tod has concluded with the fifth and final book in the series, Twelfth Grade Kills. I may write in that universe again one day, but I have no idea when or how or if it will ever happen. Those wanting more stories from that world (and to understand Joss’s side of things) should check out its companion series, The Slayer Chronicles. No, really. Go on. I’ll wait.
Back already? Coolness. Did you cry when so-and-so died? Good. I feed on your tears.
To learn what I’m currently working on, you should totally stalk me via my monthly newsletter or on Twitter or Instagram, as I usually talk about things like that there. I talk about other stuff too. It’s all fascinating. Every word I utter is like a gilded song of glittery goodness. (You can too gild a song. I know. I’ve done it. Twice last week, actually.)
Will there be a Vlad movie?
Currently, there is no Vlad movie or TV show in the works, but one can always hope. If one day there is, I’ll climb to the top of Mount Everest and shout the news very loudly. Hopefully you’ll hear me. That or I’ll announce it online somewhere. But I’m leaning toward that whole mountain idea.
How can I get one of those cool hoodies from the cover of EIGHTH GRADE BITES?
That’s a very good looking question.
Will you sign my book if I mail it to you?
I used to do this, but it quickly became overwhelming, so no. I cannot sign and ship back any books or items sent to me. (Nope. Not even money. I mean, still send it, but you won’t get it back. I’ll probably spend it on something useful like duct tape and blackberry jam.)
If you’re interested in purchasing a signed book (personalized or not), please contact Main Street Books. Tell ’em I sent ya. They know me there.
Why haven’t you emailed me back?
There was a time when I prided myself on the fact that I would answer every email I’d receive. Oh, what a fool I was to think that I could do that and write books! Emails that I receive that aren’t appearance-related are read, but not replied to. I need time to devote to my writing, after all. And Instagram. You know…important stuff like that. But I do appreciate each and every email I receive.
How do I become an author?
First step: you read this blog entry that I wrote five bajillion years ago. (No, really. I counted. And don’t let your math teacher fool you – a bajillion is totally a real number. I know. I checked. Twice last week, actually.)
Second step: you write.
Third step: repeat the first two steps until your eyes bleed and your fingers fall off. (Afterward, please contact me for the address at which I receive body parts.)
How can I best support you?
You can buy my books. For yourself. For your friends. For your cat. I don’t care. Just buy them. And maybe consider reading them. And also tell everyone you know that they’re awesome – even if that’s a lie. It’s okay to lie about things like that. Trust me. I did it twice last week and everything turned out fine. Not one of the survivors complained.
What if I have a question you haven’t answered here?
Then the answer is probably “42”. Just ask Douglas Adams.
If not, don’t ask me. Because odds are, I have no idea.